We all want to understand our men.  But let’s be real, our girls can’t help because they are clueless as well.  In this forum, D. Rich, has provided the answers to our most burning questions regarding men, relationships, etc.  If you have a question, post it on the message board in the topic “My Collection Of Questions #1 **(HOT TOPIC)**” and check back here for the answer…

How can a woman help her man get over his insecurities?

My honest answer would be to find out what he is insecure about.  See if there is a way you two can come to some type of agreement on working on what makes him that way. Nothing happens over night but if you two work as a team and have a game plan on attacking the problem you will come up with an answer. Everyone's situation is different.


How can a woman know when a man is really in love with her?

I have answered this one before.  If you get a chance, check out the “when a man wants you” poem.  That whole write up will answer your questions in a nut shell.

If a guy that you are sleeping with refers to you as just a "friend" what does that mean?

I think you answered this one yourself, y’all are just friends. When a man is interested in more than just a friendship he will let you know. Some guys may only be interested in talking to you as a friend, more like friends with benefits.  He may just be interested in hanging out, but nothing more.  That’s when you need to check in with him and make sure the communication lines are open so you two can be on the same page. Check out the same write up I did on “when a man wants you” and everything that’s listed that your man doesn’t and won’t do will answer your question.

Why do you just pass out the cell number and not the home number when you meet someone you say you want to date and see one on one anyway?

Good question! We all know there are some crazy people in this world and I just feel some men like to take precautions. Sometimes you meet someone who seems too good to be true and 9 times out of 10 they really are.  We all have heard the old saying when you meet someone for the first time you actually meet their representative and not the real person. Some people put on a front like they are the greatest thing in the world, but once you get to know them, they are the worst person you ever met. So, as a safety measure and a precaution, the cell phone is always best to give out, because if they turn out to be a stalker or a bug-a-boo, you can change the number and keep it moving.  If they have your home number, they may try to disrupt your happy home and you might have to get a restraining order. 

Maybe he doesn’t have a home number.  Most of us would go crazy if we lost our cell phones or had to live without them for a short period of time.  So why pay an unnecessary bill on a house phone when you’re never there and the world moves by cell anyway?

He May have another family on the other side of town but we aren’t going to go there!  Just use your best judgment when dating.

We are not stupid!  You know 9 out of 10 times when a man won't give out his home number there is another woman. I can understand not giving it out the first month but after that we know what was going on. I don't trust men as far as I can throw them!!!!!


Keep in mind that if you go into something with a negative outlook or approach a situation with negativity you will receive the same in return. All men are not dogs, it is just that some women try to train men they knew weren’t any good initially. You can’t train a wild life animal to be a house pet so it all goes back to this, you have to pay attention to the signs and details up front and know what you want. How would you like it if a man said the same thing you said about him to you? You would have a fit and defend yourself and say you weren’t a dog either. Give people a chance to prove themselves, know the signs you’re looking for, once you spot them then make your next move on leaving or staying.

If you met someone from online and actually traveled to see this woman.... and the visit was great... conversations are great... WHY lead her on if you’re NOT interested in anything other then booty?

Depending on what he’s looking for determines what type of woman he chooses.  A lot of men just want an out of town experience, the thought of being able to travel somewhere new and meet a woman outside of their local vicinity. Maybe he's a man that’s burnt out on the women in his hometown.  He also might be one of those guys that’s slept around with so many girls in his hometown that he has burnt out all his potential booty calls so he has to pack up and start over in another city. Depending on what you two were talking about will kind of give you the direction on where the relationship was going.  Just because a man sleeps with you doesn’t mean he wants to be with you and just because you two have a great conversation doesn’t necessarily make him the man you want to settle down with and go to the next level. Once again, screen your out of town lover wisely, make him wait before you give it up.

Why do men go to strip clubs? 

This is a good question that all men and women think about.  I think some men feel the need to fulfill some type of lost wild fantasy deep inside of them, i.e. being able to see women with perfect bodies, etc.  I’m not saying that the woman they have at home isn’t perfect, but we all know, some strippers have no shame in their game. Most of them are willing to do and go beyond morals and self respect that the wifey/good girl won’t do. Now as time has moved on, a lot of women feel comfortable going to the strip clubs with their man, and others feel that it is a way to develop trust with him that he won’t cheat!!!  ***NEWS FLASH**** Word to the wise, if you put your man in the eyes of temptation what do you expect to happen??? No man is perfect. Look At the leaders and well respected men in our society for goodness sakes, Bill Clinton, Jessie Jackson, Michael Jordan, they all committed adultery. Halle Berry got cheated on by Eric Benet and she is a well known actress/model. Even Tyra Banks Got cheated on and she is the host of America's Next Top Model.

If you don’t want those problems make sure you address it with your man upfront. Word to the wise JUST SAY NO TO MEN THAT LIKE TO GO!!!!!

Why do men feel intimidated by women who know what they want, and where they are going in life?


A man that gets intimidated by a woman who has goals most likely doesn’t have anything going for himself. You should think of a woman as a soul mate or a partner.  What man wouldn’t want a woman who has some business about her self?  What woman wants to call her man a provider when he provides nothing to the relationship? If a woman calls a guy her man, that’s exactly what she wants him to be. Someone who can provide stability, comfort, and understanding. So, when a man sees that he doesn’t have these certain qualities he usually draws back or feels intimidated because his business may not be in order. On another note, some men have an ego problem.  They just feel that they always have to be in charge and it’s either their way or no way. If you run across a man like that, then continue to keep running because you won’t have anything but a problem on your hand.

Why do they feel intimidated by an out spoken woman who tells it how it is, and keeps it real? I mean they say they want someone who is going to keep it real. Some of us keep it to real, speaking for myself, and they can't handle that.


I think its ok to keep it real but some of us go too far. Sometimes "keeping it real" in certain situations can cross the line of a friendship/relationship. That’s when we all step into the ring of "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong"!!! It’s ok to voice our opinions sometimes but it all depends on the mood, the tone of voice, and the setting that lights a spark to certain situations. Also, ask yourself this, how would you like it if someone who called themselves “keeping it real” approached you the wrong way? It’s all in the voice tone.  It’s not what you say, its how you say it.  So, as long as you approach a person with respect, more then likely you will receive the same mannerism in return.

How can u tell if a man is actually keeping it real, and telling the truth?  I mean let's keep it real, and not play games. I mean let's keep it real a lot of men have a motive behind some of the things that they do.


It all comes down to this, you just have to know what you are looking for in a man so that way if you suspect he’s not giving you what your looking for, that may be a sign that he's the wrong guy. Example: If you want a man that’s a gentleman, very romantic, clean cut, and always involved in what you like to do, but on the other hand the guy you’re with drinks a 40 ounce beer, uses profound language in public, and only calls you after hours for late night booty calls, then you might be with the wrong guy. In most cases certain women will settle in hopes of giving a man she has no interest in, a chance to change into the man she dreams of. When she doesn’t receive what she searching for she feels as if the guy she was settling for wasn’t real!  ****NEWS FLASH**** You have to be real with yourself in order for a man to be real with you.  In order to get a quality man, you have to be a quality woman. You can’t be a hoodrat or a half stepping female hoping to score a relationship with a business man. If the shoes were turned and you had yourself together, would you want to jeopardize your career and earnings for someone who is a half stepper or someone who isn't on your level?

Another thing is that all men do no not have motives. It falls under the category of getting a woman's attention and keeping the interest level high. If you can predict a man's every move then the relationship becomes complacent and you start to lose interest.  If a man can keep it exciting and challenging, you two will start to grow and move on to other levels of love you have never experienced before. But make sure this is the right guy and be cautious with all men. Last but not least, make sure you know what you want, so that way you will be treated the way you deserve. If you feel you should be treated like a queen, then anything less than that puts him in grounds of termination.

If a man says he loves you, how do you know if he just loves you like a friend or if he is IN love with you? Because the signals he's giving you could go either way.


The only way to find out which way he loves you is to establish a clear understanding in the beginning. A lot of times women will meet a guy and the agreement will be understood as a friend with benefits. Once the sex comes into play, that’s when feelings get involved. Those feelings create the want for love and companionship and if the understanding between the two is unclear, one or the other may feel played or used.

Also, when a man is in love with you, you notice changes in him.  He will try to include you into things like his personal information and life. He wants to do things the right way, i.e getting out of the game, not giving other women his phone number, making you first in his life, and the small things he does are all about you. He just makes you feel important in every aspect of his day and night. No matter where you are he will go out of his way to make sure your needs are met, including your finances if you are in a strain.  He doesn’t just do things to get himself comfortable but finds comfort for the two of you. Then out of nowhere (SURPRISE!) hopefully you are lucky enough to witness him pop the will you marry me question.

When a man just wants to be friends, he will do some of what I just listed except for clear numbers out of his phone and go out of his way to make you his girl because he may not be looking for a girl.. The situation just depends on the person.

Why are some men so jealous? Wanting to know how you spend your every waking moment when you're not in his presence, is it because he's out doing his own dirt? Or is it because he is not just secure with himself?

Men that do things like that are insecure with themselves.  A lot of men come from single parent households. Most of these men didn’t grow up with a father figure to teach them to have confidence or to show them how to be a strong man. A real man doesn’t have to be insecure because he has himself together as far as his appearance, confidence, personality and he has learned how to keep the peace within his relationship.  Questioning his woman shows signs that he doesn’t trust her and that he may be up to some fowl business. A real man doesn’t want all that negativity going on so he learns how to show that he's trust worthy and in return if he's with a woman of equal yoke, she will do the same. If you’re dealing with an insecure man, chances are he has been that way with all of his ex's and that may be the reason he is by himself. If that’s the case you better run like hell girl and don’t look back!! You will save yourself a lot of time and dodge trouble in the long run.

Why is it that when men can't have their way they try to guilt you into doing something you can't or don’t want to do? Are all men truly this selfish?


These men were once those kids you remember seeing in the daycare or at school who would always get mad when they couldn’t have their way. Since their parents never put an end to that childish and inappropriate behavior, they continued to use the same behavior in their adult lives. And no, all men are not this way, you just have to be picky in the dating game and choose your partners very wisely. The signs of these men are in the early stages they are very aggressive and sometimes appear to be sassy or to bossy.

Just be careful and know what you want. Some women like these type of guys, some don’t. It’s just whatever floats your boat. REMEMBER BE CAREFUL!!!!
My advice would be to watch him very carefully so he won’t talk you into something that could possibly set you back, like ruining your credit or some scheme like that.

Stay tuned for the answers to new questions posted by members…

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